[CHURCH BELLS CHIME]
[♪♪♪]
[WOMAN OVER P.A.]: ATTENTION. ATTENTION, ALL STUDENTS.
THERE WILL BE AN ASSEMBLY TOMORROW AFTERNOON
IN THE AUDITORIUM.
ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY.
AND THE SPECIAL TODAY IN THE CAFETERIA
IS THE EVER-POPULAR CHICKEN NUGGETS.
DO YOU THINK THAT'S EVER GONNA WASH OUT?
MY HAIR?
'CAUSE HALLOWEEN WAS, LIKE, TWO WEEKS AGO.
THE BOX SAID SEMI-PERMANENT.
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST USE THE STUFF WE GOT LAST YEAR?
WITH MY RED HAIR?
IT CAME OUT PURPLISH.
I COULDN'T GO AS HAN SOLO WITH MUPPET HAIR--
NOT AFTER GETTING MY COSTUME JUST RIGHT.
AN ICON MUST BE RESPECTED.
HOW'S THAT BOOK ANYWAYS?
IT'S GOOD,
EXCEPT FOR THE HOKEY COVER AND CLICHE-LOOKING ALIEN.
HEY, YOU WANT TO GO TO THE LIBRARY?
MAYBE THEY'VE GOT SOME MORE STUFF THERE.
YEAH.
WHAT'S SO FASCINATING, DWEEB?
COME ON, DWAYNE, GIVE IT BACK.
"THE QUEST FOR ALIEN CONTACT."
FORGET HOW TO PHONE THE MOTHER SHIP?
CUT IT OUT, DWAYNE.
BUTT OUT, BUTT FACE.
GIVE IT BACK!
GIVE IT BACK, DWAYNE. COME ON!
[COOK]: SWIFT MOVE, BOYS.
WITH ME!
NOW!
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
FIVE POUNDS OF MY HOMEMADE NUGGETS.
WASTED.
HOMEMADE?
I'M SORRY, MISS BAXTER.
WELL, YOU'D BETTER BE.
NOW, WE'LL BE SQUARE ONCE YOU COME BACK AFTER SCHOOL
AND HAUL MY TRASH TO THE DUMPSTER ALL WEEK.
NOT ME. I'VE GOT FOOTBALL PRACTICE.
I KNOW COACH WARNED YOU ABOUT FIGHTING.
HOW MANY TIMES NOW?
AFTER SCHOOL.
ALL WEEK.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE?
HE'S...SMALL.
ONLY A SIXTH GRADER.
HIS INTELLECT IS WHAT COUNTS.
[DWAYNE]: COACH IS MAKING ME SIT OUT A GAME!
I'M GONNA PUT THE HURT ON THAT WUSS.
HI!
I'M BONNIE. THIS IS GREG.
YOU DROPPED THIS.
OH, THANKS.
S.E.T.I. PROTOCOLS... PROJECT OZMA...
DRAKE EQUATION?
WHAT'S THAT?
AN ESTIMATION OF THE NUMBER OF INTELLIGENT CIVILIZATIONS
IN THE GALAXY.
YOU MUST REALLY BE INTO EXTRATERRESTRIALS.
IT'S COOL. SO ARE WE.
[BONNIE]: IN FACT, WE STARTED A CLUB.
AND WE THINK YOU'D FIT RIGHT IN.
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A CLUB LIKE THAT HERE.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
IT'S NOT EXACTLY...
IT'S NOT EXACTLY A "SCHOOL" CLUB.
IT'S PRIVATE.
[BONNIE]: VERY HUSH-HUSH.
WE DON'T LET JUST ANYBODY IN.
AND YOU CHOSE ME?
LET ME GUESS--
THE INITIATION IS THROWING A VOLLEYBALL AT MY HEAD?
OR IS IT A WEDGIE THIS TIME?
YOU THINK WE'RE MESSING WITH YOU.
WE'RE NOT.
AND WE CAN PROVE IT.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF "PROJECT BLUE BRIDGE?"
ACCORDING TO UFOLOGY WEBSITES,
IT'S A CLASSIFIED OP
TO ATTEMPT COMMUNICATION AND ALLIANCES
WITH EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS.
[BONNIE]: "TO BRIDGE THE GAP
BETWEEN HUMAN AND ALIEN SPECIES."
SOME RUMORS SAY IT WORKED
AND WE'RE EVEN TRADING TECHNOLOGY.
[BONNIE]: THEY'RE NOT RUMORS,
THEY'RE FACTS...
MY DAD WORKS FOR "PROJECT BLUE BRIDGE."
YOUR DAD?
HARDLY ANYONE COMES DOWN TO THIS PART OF THE SCHOOL...
WE CAN MEET HERE IN SECRET.
THIS IS FROM A TECHNOLOGY EXCHANGE.
IT LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF MICROCIRCUITRY
IN A CONDUCTIVE FLUID.
IT'S BIOMETRIC--
LIVING ELECTRONICS.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
WHAT DOES IT DO?
THAT'S ALL WE CAN TELL YOU NOW.
[BONNIE]: UNLESS...
YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN US AND BECOME A CANDIDATE.
CANDIDATE?
FOR "PROJECT BLUE BRIDGE."
WALT, WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL?
OKAY, THEN...
ALL CANDIDATES NEED SPECIAL PREPARATION.
[GREG]: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT...
YOU NEED TO EAT THESE.
JELLYBEANS?
[BONNIE]: IT'S NOT REALLY CANDY.
IT'S A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT FORMULATED BY A GOVERNMENT LAB.
[GREG]: IT CONDITIONS THE BRAIN
TO RECEIVE TELEPATHIC MESSAGES
SO THAT HUMANS AND ALIENS CAN COMMUNICATE EASILY.
[BONNIE]: WALT, YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS ALL CLASSIFIED?
THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE.
WALT?
[PHONE BEEPING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
DUDE, WHAT'S UP?
YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE.
SORRY...
IT MUST'VE GOTTEN TURNED OFF.
OOH! JELLYBEANS!
CAN I HAVE SOME OF THESE?
NO! THESE ARE FOR...
FOR LATER.
WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO WEIRD?
TIM, IF I TELL YOU SOMETHING, WILL YOU SWEAR NOT TO TELL?
SURE.
SWEAR-SWEAR?
OF COURSE.
SOME OF THE...
SOME OF THE EIGHTH GRADERS ASKED ME TO JOIN A CLUB.
AND...
IT'S MORE THAN A CLUB, IT'S A SUPER CLUB,
IT'S AWESOME, IT'S...
WHAT?
IT'S SECRET.
NEVER MIND.
I PROMISED NOT TO TELL.
OH, COME ON!
YOU CAN'T TELL ME
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN'T TELL ME
AND THEN NOT TELL ME.
WAIT. I CAN'T TELL YOU, BUT THEY WILL.
YOU TOLD SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT THE CLUB?
NOTHING SPECIFIC. I PROMISE.
AND HE'S NOT JUST SOMEONE, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND,
AND I KNOW HE'LL BE GREAT
IF YOU LET HIM JOIN.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.
HE GETS GOOD GRADES, BELIEVES IN EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS
AND WILL WATCH ANY OLD MOVIE THAT'S SET IN OUTER SPACE--
THIS CLUB IS NOT FOR JOKERS WHO WATCH INVASION MOVIES
OR BLOW UP ALIENS IN VIDEO GAMES.
IF YOU DON'T GET THAT BY NOW, WE SHOULD CHOOSE SOMEONE ELSE.
WAIT! NO!
I WANT TO BE IN THE CLUB, I DO...
IT'S JUST THAT TIM--
[BONNIE]: IS NOT YOUR CALIBER.
WE ONLY TAKE SERIOUS CANDIDATES.
I'LL TELL HIM YOU SAID NO.
DID WE CHOOSE THE RIGHT ONE?
ABSOLUTELY.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY SAID NO?
I'M SORRY. I TRIED.
MAN, I'M SO THIRSTY.
AND YOU'RE STILL GONNA JOIN.
WITHOUT ME. THANKS.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS CLUB IS ABOUT.
BECAUSE YOU WON'T TELL ME.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME
A CLUB WOULDN'T LET ONE OF US IN.
YES, IT IS.
THE BOWLING LEAGUE, THE YEARBOOK COMMITTEE--
THEY WOULDN'T LET EITHER OF US IN.
LOOK, I CAN'T HELP IT
IF THEY WANT TO KEEP IT EXCLUSIVE.
YOU WANT EXCLUSIVE?
HERE, THE TABLE'S ALL YOURS.
ARE YOU OKAY, SON?
[ECHOING] ARE YOU OKAAAAY?
[WALT GROANS]
YEAH. I'M FINE.
[BONNIE]: WALT!
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?
WE CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER.
FOR WHAT?
IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
YOU'VE BEEN EATING THE CANDY?
EXACTLY LIKE YOU TOLD ME.
EXCELLENT.
[BONNIE]: SUBJECT IMMOBILIZED.
REDUCTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS INDUCED.
THREE MINUTES TO REANIMATION.
BLOOD, 4.1 LITERS.
PROTEINS SATISFACTORY.
HE CONSUMED ADEQUATE SUPPLEMENTS.
ANY VIRUSES SHOULD BE NEUTRALIZED.
ALL TOXINS ELIMINATED.
THE CANDIDATE IS SUITABLE FOR DIGESTION.
[ROARING]
[SIGHS] IT WAS A DREAM.
I'M LATE!
WE SHOULD NEUTRALIZE HIM.
UNNECESSARY CASUALTIES ATTRACT ATTENTION.
HE WILL REALIZE SOON ENOUGH.
NO ONE WILL BELIEVE HIM, THEY NEVER DO.
BESIDES, HE JUST HELPED US CHOOSE OUR NEW CANDIDATE.
I'M MISSING A GAME BECAUSE OF YOU.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE,
STOP PICKING ON KIDS HALF YOUR SIZE
AND TWICE YOUR I.Q.
WHOA. SOMEBODY GREW A PAIR.
BUT YOU GOTTA GROW A LOT MORE THAN THAT
BEFORE YOU CAN MOUTH OFF TO ME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
[SCREAMS]
STOP YOWLING, YOU FOUR-TOED FREAK.
CALM DOWN, WALT.
SORRY ABOUT THE TOE,
BUT YOU SAW THAT OUR SALIVA HAS HEALING ABILITIES.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL ANYONE.
THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM.
[GROWLS]
[SCREAMS]
[WALT]: SOMEBODY, HELP, PLEASE!
LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO, YOU BUG-UGLY ALIEN!
DWAYNE?
THAT'S FOR GETTING ME IN TROUBLE...
GIVE ME THAT.
[WALT]: LET ME OUT!
COME ON, DWAYNE, PLEASE?
LET ME OUT OF HERE!
THAT'S FOR MOUTHING OFF.
COME ON. SOMEBODY, HELP! PLEASE!
LET ME OUT!
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
YOU'VE BEEN EATING IT?
ALL AFTERNOON LIKE YOU SAID.
USUALLY, WE'D EXPLAIN FIRST,
BUT WE HAVE TO GET YOU UP TO SPEED FAST...
SINCE WALT VOUCHED FOR YOU AND ALL.
OH, AND WE WANT THIS TO BE A SURPRISE,
SO DON'T TELL WALT, OKAY?
[DIALING, PHONE RINGING]
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
[TIM]: DUDE, WHAT'S UP?
TIM. OH MAN. LISTEN. THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
I CAN'T EXPLAIN NOW. CAN YOU MEET ME?
[TIM]: I'M KIND OF BUSY RIGHT NOW.
WHERE ARE YOU?
I'LL CATCH YOU TONIGHT.
HE'S GOING TO BE SURPRISED.
DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY WATER?
SO, DO YOU WANT TO SEE HOW THIS WORKS?
TIM! I'VE GOT YOU, BUDDY.
[ALIENS CHOKING]
WALT?
WHERE AM I?
I HAD A NIGHTMARE.
IT WASN'T A DREAM, PAL.
WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
LET'S GO!
COME ON!
WALT! WALT!
LET GO, YOU BUG-UGLY!
LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!
WE'RE SO DEAD!
THIS IS JUST RITUALISTIC BEHAVIOR.
THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO INTIMIDATE THEIR PREY.
IT'S WORKING.
-TIM-- -YEAH?
GO FOR THE EYES. NOW!
-WHAT DID YOU DO? -I DON'T KNOW--THE SALT...
THEY HAVE PERMEABLE SKIN LIKE FROGS OR SLUGS.
THE SALT'S BEING ABSORBED
AND DISSOLVING THEM ON THE INSIDE.
THAT'S DISGUSTING!
[ALIENS SHRIEKING]
WHOA.
YEAH.
SHOULD WE TELL SOMEBODY?
YOU MEAN, LIKE THE ARMY?
I WAS THINKING THE PRINCIPAL.
BUT THE ARMY'S PROBABLY BETTER.
NO ONE WILL BELIEVE US.
[DOOR OPENS]
[COOK]: JUST PUT 'EM ON THE COUNTER.
[COOK SHRIEKS]
WHAT ON THE GOOD GREEN EARTH?
IF I FIND WHO DID THIS--
MIGHT AS WELL GET TOMORROW'S BATCH OF NUGGETS GOING
WHILE I TEND THIS MESS.
SALT...
YEAH. CLOSER THAN I CARE TO ADMIT.
ONE WRONG MOVE, AND WE WOULD HAVE BEEN ALIEN KIBBLE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE CAME THAT CLOSE
TO BEING EATEN BY EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS.
I KNOW.
[DWAYNE]: DO THE NUGGETS TASTE DIFFERENT TODAY?
YEAH, I THOUGHT SO...
MORE FLAVOR THAN USUAL.
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE...
[BOTH SCREAM]